For the past 10 or so years we have been sending our kids to Hidden Acres Summer Camp. Jeremy went there through middle school & high school for all our church youth group retreats & I joined him when we moved to Iowa my junior year. Our oldest son had the privilege of working in the kitchen for 2 summers & matured substantially. To say that our family loves Hidden Acres would be completely accurate. I love to listen to my children tell me all about their adventures after we pick them up every year but I've always wondered what Hidden Acres is like during summer camp & it occurred to me that I could experience a taste if I went as the camp nurse. It wouldn't be exactly the same but it would be close.
I mentioned this in passing to Jeremy & he really pushed me this last year to get my license out of retirement & complete my CEU's so that I could be there. I was totally excited about the idea of going to camp but as the time neared I started to doubt my decision. You see, I haven't used my nursing license. I graduated nursing school & immediately started having babies. I've been pregnant or breastfeeding for the past 19years. I've continued to do research & learn many things about nursing but I've never gotten paid for all the skills I've used on my own children & our farm animals.
As my week got closer I started to get more nervous. I began to think about all the things I haven't done in the last 19 years. I started to dream about things like calculating dosages, feeding tubes, and diabetic pumps & running around trying to save all the campers from weird sicknesses that no one had ever heard of. I was definitely doubting my abilities but I knew that there would be 4 other nurses there to lean on if I needed.
When I arrived on Sunday afternoon I was nervous & excited but more excited than anything else. I met the other nurses that I'd be working with & got the low down on our responsibilities-didn't sound too hard. We set up to check in the camper's meds, put the meds into the daily med cases, & alphabetized them in the cupboards. I moved a little slowly at first because I was triple checking my doses & names but I got in the groove & my nervous energy dissipated.
The first morning dawned bright & early & I headed over to the nurse's station. We handed out morning meds & the kids started trickling in to get bandaids & bug paste. Those little sweeties stole my heart the first day! The homesick ones that just needed a hug until they started to have fun, the ones that smile & wave as we drove the golf cart with the coolers of water, the ones that fell down & needed bandages, & the ones we saw multiple times a day for meds. I didn't realize how quickly they would imbed themselves into my heart & not only the campers but the counselor too! I started thinking of them as MY kids! I checked on them throughout the week & worried about the ones that were still sad or had a tummy ache. I connected with so many kids even if it was just a high five, a smile & wave or a hug!
I worked from 7am to 10:30pm every day! I could have taken a break but I didn't want to miss a thing! I ate most of my meals in the nurse's station or on the run as I cared for the campers. I had the most fun I've had in such a long time! There were fun stories & hilarious stories. The kids made us laugh all day long! I gave some common sense-mom advice to the counselors on how to handle some tough campers & I comforted the counselors & campers that were injured in all their fun. It rained a lot but we still had a blast.
I made new friends in the other nurses that I got to work with! We laughed so much! There is a tradition at camp that the counselors come up with funny things that happen during the week & make them into T-shirts- we came up with a few ourselves: (overheard) "Jesus suffered more than this, we're going back to the cabin", "my feet hurt, bandage me", "When was the last time you pooped?", "Where is your water bottle?", "Bandaids solve everything", "Open the window before you talk", "What is that funk?", "Can you tell me what this is?"
My memories will be forever tattooed with: my homesick birthday buddy, the boy that just didn't want to walk, the poltergeist puker, the wilderness boys' foot funk, the airsoft pellet I popped out of a gal's eye (no joke-totally awesome!!!), the "no peanut but thought it was" Epi-pen ER visit, the biggest bloody nose I've ever seen during bubble wars, the over zealous WWE skit gone bad on the counselor's shoulder, magic tricks in the down time, golf cart water stations runs, hometown kids check-in, poison ivy, the almost seizure & trip to Urgent Care, "bandage me", "Klemmer" & Adam with an A, boxes of sheets to launder, the chipped tooth that "isn't a cavity because I ate sugar & it didn't hurt", meds that taste like turtle-because he just held a turtle, the majesty of the monarch butterflies everywhere that added to the magic of camp, the tower specialist that got a break from the heat, the last minute lice checks, seeing my own kids as they ran by, fireworks in the rain & all the inside jokes with the fantastic counselors.
My mind is still wondering how they are today even though I got home yesterday. I miss their little smiles & I'm kinda sad that I won't be there tomorrow to welcome a new group to camp with the counselors. BY THE WAY: counselors are SAINTS! They have so much to deal with besides herding kids to their next activity! I'll be praying for them this week for sure.
I will DEFINITELY be doing this every year! It was so great & well worth the tiredness I have today!!! Can't wait for next year! I wish I had taken pictures!
The last BEST thing that happened was that I was asked to come back next year by 2 counselors at separate times saying that I was the best nurse they have had this summer! My heart was soaring!
Saturday, July 6, 2019
Friday, August 31, 2018
A teacher made me cry today
This is my Sage. He's 17yo. He's 6'4". He's 240#. He's artistic. He loves children. He loves music. He loves anime. He's a junior. If you're lucky he will hug you (I would pay for a hug from him & not just because he is my son). He is has been dubbed a "gentle giant" by more than a few people.
He also loves to be alone. He is anxious about the future, driving, being late, doing something wrong, & not understanding what's going on. Many lights bother him. Crowds make his skin crawl. He's dyslexic, dysgraphic, dynomic, has dyscalcula, & has Aspergers. Life in school is challenging to say the least.
Background: When Sage was in the 8th grade, we enrolled him in public school part time so that he could learn that the world isn't scary. It helped but he is still very anxious about things. He went full time for his freshman year & the 1st semester of his sophomore year. Then, we went back to half time homeschool, half time public school. During this time Sage has had FANTASTIC teachers that have been so accomodating & help to draw him out of himself & into the world around him.
This year we were a little nervous. His special ed teacher took a job at the middle school & I so his anchor in his day was gone. His new teacher called me & emailed before school started. I read her bio that she emailed me & I was excited. She has previously worked at DMACC for 17 years helping people get their GED's. I'm imaging that she will be instrumental in helping Sage to find his bent. She will be a valuable asset to learning what might be available at DMACC or elsewhere for Sage to excel at. There are trades that we don't even know about that he might love.
Disclaimer: Please don't read this & think that I am discounting college for my son. I know my child. He would hate college. He is incredibly smart but academia isn't where he will excel. He knows this. We know this. It isn't bad. It's great to know where your niche is.
This last Monday was Parent Meet the Teacher Night at the high school. I have 3 high schoolers & we go to a small high school so I already know most of the teachers. I had a goal of meeting the special ed teacher & some of the new teachers that I hadn't met yet. I wanted to give certain teachers a heads up about Sage & his accomodations. Everything was going great & I'd seen the teachers I wanted to see. I had one more left. Sage's English teacher.
I walked into her room & there were books on every surface. The tables had about 75 books on them. At first I was excited because I love reading. It was like walking into a candy store. AND then my heart sank because I realized that Sage might have to read many of these books & write things about them. His teacher finished talking with another couple & then turned to me. We introduced ourselves & I started in on my rehearsed schpeel (no clue how to spell that). As we talked she let me know that she had a son named Kevin that was a lot like Sage. She had homeschooled her sons until high school & is still a homeschooler at heart. What she means by that is that she doesn't teach from a standard starting place for all the kids. Each child is at a different level & she teaches each kid from where they are at. They will grow. They will be ready for next year. They will be kind. Sage will leave this year thinking that his best subject is English.
I cried. She understood why. She told me that she knew exactly why I was tearing up. She has been there. Her son didn't know he was "dumb" until he went to public school because there is nothing to compare yourself to when you homeschool. Neither did Sage. My sensitive son didn't know he was different until it was pointed out to him & now he can't forget it. He knows it everyday. He's sweet & kind & wants to please everyone & I can't make it better when the obvious chasm between his abilities & others is highlighted with every assessment or daily assignment. But this teacher, this mom, can help him daily. She promised me. She's already planning ways for him to succeed. SO, I cried when I don't normally cry. My mama heart got a pretty little bandage in the form of hope from this wonderful teacher that my son gets the privilege of learning from all year long. She will speak to his soul & be another person that God has sent to build him up & draw him out into the world around him.
Amazing To Look Back
Everyone has those times in their lives when it's eye opening to look back & remember how far they have come. These past 2 weeks extended me that opportunity, you see, I left my 15yo son at boot camp.
Some of you are thinking, "15! What in the world! He must be one of those bad kids that the parents put in military training." Nope. Two of my sons are member of the Iowa Sea Cadets program. This fantastic program is for kids ages 10-18 & allows them opportunities to see what military life will be like while taking part in amazing experiences such as Coast Guard Training, military medical training, Blackhawks, Field Operations, scuba certification &more.
Anyway, my 15yo was signed up to attend Recruit Training this summer. He had been told by other cadets that it would be awful- he would hate it & he was a little scared. A couple of days before we left he had started bargaining with me, "If you let me stay home I will get a job & give you all my money for a whole year." Then, the day of it was, "You can't make me do this. I won't get out of the van." We pulled through the security check & I could see it on his face. He was petrified. We pulled into the designated parking lot. He couldn't move. We sat there for 10 min while the little kids asked why he wouldn't get out of the car. Finally I knew that I had to make him do this or he would regret it forever. I opened my van door, stepped out, opened his door & told him to unbuckle. It seems like it took 3 minutes. I told him to step out of the vehicle. He would not. I told him that unless he got out on his own accord, I would go get his CO & they would remove him. To say he was angry would be an understatement. I unloaded his sea bag that I'd packed for him & walked with him towards the check in table. A man in military dress stopped me at the sidewalk & let me know that parents weren't allowed past the garbage can & I'd need to say my goodbyes now. I tried to hug him & whisper words of support in his ear but he wasn't having that. He was mad & slightly embarrassed. I turned & went back to my van.
As we drove out through the security gate I was reflective. I just made my scared 15yo do something that he was either going to hate me for or he was going to love me for it. I've known his entire life that he is destined for a job full of adrenaline; fireman, policeman, race car driver, military man. I'm just hoping that his fear won't get in the way of his experience. Jeremy knew my mood. He asked me when I was going to speak again & how long I was going to feel guilty. I honestly didn't know. That night I slept for about 3 1/2 hours and not in one sitting.
The next day, the CO began posting pictures of all the recruits on Facebook. It was great to see his shaved head but I could still see the anger in his eyes. I was hoping he hadn't lain in bed all night wondering why his mama was making him do this when I was supposed to love him. The next couple of days I stalked that Facebook page 2 or 3 times a day keeping my eyes peeled for any glimpse of my son. I wonder if he's sleeping? Is he remembering to take his meds? Is he eating or is his sensory issues getting in the way? Does he hate me or is he having fun? I can't tell from the pictures because all the recruits look so serious.
Graduation day was July 4th which I think is fantastic! What better way to spend my Independence Day than with the men & women that make my freedom possible. I was awake very early. I got all my littles ready. We headed out to be there early & get a good seat. I couldn't wait to see him. My stomach was in knots while sitting in that metal chair waiting for the ceremony to begin. Alpha company comes in. Bravo company comes in, & finally Charlie company. There he is. There is my baby. My eyes well up in tears & my throat is now the size of a baseball. My heart is pumping a million miles a minute. I watch & I try to listen but all I can do is stare into the face of my son who is also staring straight ahead as he is supposed to. They announce the CO's, the cadets that volunteered to help during the week, & the awards that each company earned. Brody won the Physical Readiness Award for Charlie Company. I am so proud.
Finally the ceremony is over & we are free to go to him. I get to hug him for a couple of seconds & no one else because he is in his dress uniform. We take some pictures, we gather his stuff, & we head for the van after making a plan to head to Hickory Park Restaurant because he is starving. He glowed the whole way home. He talked non stop about all the experiences he'd had. In my head I knew that I was right. He LOVED it. It was exactly what he wanted to do.
When we finally arrive at home Jeremy asks Brody if he learned anything. His response was not what I expected. He said that Freedom of Speech is really important. I'm thinking "What? 12 days of boot camp & you're thinking about Constitutional stuff?" "When you have to be silent for 12 days, unless spoken to, you learn how wonderful it is to be able to say what you want & how important that is."
Well, that's good. But I wanted more. I was hoping for more. He then added, "I also learned that I'm a jerk. I treat our family like my DI's treated us & I don't want to be a jerk anymore." I'm quite sure that ANGELS were singing! I almost cried from that statement but I was fishing for more. I needed to know that he didn't hate me. I asked him about his first night, did he sleep, was he mad at me, etc. He said that it was easy to sleep because he was exhausted. He started out mad but he realized that he missed me. He said that he knows why military guys get a tattoo of MOM on their arm. I told him that I was OK with him getting a MOM tattoo; I'd take him right now! He was shocked for sure. That lead to a whole other discussion about getting a tattoo...
I want you to know that although I was excited to hear that Brody has decided to join the Marines after high school, the thing I loved the most was the 2 weeks after he got back. Why? Brody was happy. He was sweet to his siblings. He asked me to snuggle with him while we watched a show on the tv-EVERYDAY! This might sound like no big deal to many people but when you have a kid that has struggled his whole life with various diagnosis of Aspergers, sensory problems, ODD, ADD, & dyslexia, you don't get many good days. There is always something to send him reeling which sends the whole family into a tailspin. This experience was a win. 5 years ago we didn't have many things to cheer about with Brody. He had grown so much physically & emotionally. There were years that I worried about whether or not he would survive & thrive in life as an adult. My very real concerns have been alleviated substantially. I can't wait to see what's in store for him now.
Some of you are thinking, "15! What in the world! He must be one of those bad kids that the parents put in military training." Nope. Two of my sons are member of the Iowa Sea Cadets program. This fantastic program is for kids ages 10-18 & allows them opportunities to see what military life will be like while taking part in amazing experiences such as Coast Guard Training, military medical training, Blackhawks, Field Operations, scuba certification &more.
Anyway, my 15yo was signed up to attend Recruit Training this summer. He had been told by other cadets that it would be awful- he would hate it & he was a little scared. A couple of days before we left he had started bargaining with me, "If you let me stay home I will get a job & give you all my money for a whole year." Then, the day of it was, "You can't make me do this. I won't get out of the van." We pulled through the security check & I could see it on his face. He was petrified. We pulled into the designated parking lot. He couldn't move. We sat there for 10 min while the little kids asked why he wouldn't get out of the car. Finally I knew that I had to make him do this or he would regret it forever. I opened my van door, stepped out, opened his door & told him to unbuckle. It seems like it took 3 minutes. I told him to step out of the vehicle. He would not. I told him that unless he got out on his own accord, I would go get his CO & they would remove him. To say he was angry would be an understatement. I unloaded his sea bag that I'd packed for him & walked with him towards the check in table. A man in military dress stopped me at the sidewalk & let me know that parents weren't allowed past the garbage can & I'd need to say my goodbyes now. I tried to hug him & whisper words of support in his ear but he wasn't having that. He was mad & slightly embarrassed. I turned & went back to my van.
As we drove out through the security gate I was reflective. I just made my scared 15yo do something that he was either going to hate me for or he was going to love me for it. I've known his entire life that he is destined for a job full of adrenaline; fireman, policeman, race car driver, military man. I'm just hoping that his fear won't get in the way of his experience. Jeremy knew my mood. He asked me when I was going to speak again & how long I was going to feel guilty. I honestly didn't know. That night I slept for about 3 1/2 hours and not in one sitting.
The next day, the CO began posting pictures of all the recruits on Facebook. It was great to see his shaved head but I could still see the anger in his eyes. I was hoping he hadn't lain in bed all night wondering why his mama was making him do this when I was supposed to love him. The next couple of days I stalked that Facebook page 2 or 3 times a day keeping my eyes peeled for any glimpse of my son. I wonder if he's sleeping? Is he remembering to take his meds? Is he eating or is his sensory issues getting in the way? Does he hate me or is he having fun? I can't tell from the pictures because all the recruits look so serious.
Graduation day was July 4th which I think is fantastic! What better way to spend my Independence Day than with the men & women that make my freedom possible. I was awake very early. I got all my littles ready. We headed out to be there early & get a good seat. I couldn't wait to see him. My stomach was in knots while sitting in that metal chair waiting for the ceremony to begin. Alpha company comes in. Bravo company comes in, & finally Charlie company. There he is. There is my baby. My eyes well up in tears & my throat is now the size of a baseball. My heart is pumping a million miles a minute. I watch & I try to listen but all I can do is stare into the face of my son who is also staring straight ahead as he is supposed to. They announce the CO's, the cadets that volunteered to help during the week, & the awards that each company earned. Brody won the Physical Readiness Award for Charlie Company. I am so proud.
Finally the ceremony is over & we are free to go to him. I get to hug him for a couple of seconds & no one else because he is in his dress uniform. We take some pictures, we gather his stuff, & we head for the van after making a plan to head to Hickory Park Restaurant because he is starving. He glowed the whole way home. He talked non stop about all the experiences he'd had. In my head I knew that I was right. He LOVED it. It was exactly what he wanted to do.
When we finally arrive at home Jeremy asks Brody if he learned anything. His response was not what I expected. He said that Freedom of Speech is really important. I'm thinking "What? 12 days of boot camp & you're thinking about Constitutional stuff?" "When you have to be silent for 12 days, unless spoken to, you learn how wonderful it is to be able to say what you want & how important that is."
Well, that's good. But I wanted more. I was hoping for more. He then added, "I also learned that I'm a jerk. I treat our family like my DI's treated us & I don't want to be a jerk anymore." I'm quite sure that ANGELS were singing! I almost cried from that statement but I was fishing for more. I needed to know that he didn't hate me. I asked him about his first night, did he sleep, was he mad at me, etc. He said that it was easy to sleep because he was exhausted. He started out mad but he realized that he missed me. He said that he knows why military guys get a tattoo of MOM on their arm. I told him that I was OK with him getting a MOM tattoo; I'd take him right now! He was shocked for sure. That lead to a whole other discussion about getting a tattoo...
I want you to know that although I was excited to hear that Brody has decided to join the Marines after high school, the thing I loved the most was the 2 weeks after he got back. Why? Brody was happy. He was sweet to his siblings. He asked me to snuggle with him while we watched a show on the tv-EVERYDAY! This might sound like no big deal to many people but when you have a kid that has struggled his whole life with various diagnosis of Aspergers, sensory problems, ODD, ADD, & dyslexia, you don't get many good days. There is always something to send him reeling which sends the whole family into a tailspin. This experience was a win. 5 years ago we didn't have many things to cheer about with Brody. He had grown so much physically & emotionally. There were years that I worried about whether or not he would survive & thrive in life as an adult. My very real concerns have been alleviated substantially. I can't wait to see what's in store for him now.
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Instant Recall-turn it off
I'm writing this because it's all I can think about. I'm praying for 7 little children that I met & I'll probably never see again. Here's how it went:
Today was a busy day. Lots was accomplished before noon by our whole family. This afternoon we were excited to head to eastern Iowa to attend Leah's graduation open house. Family functions are always fun when you've got cousins to play with & talk to. The only fly in my cream was that the AC in our van conked out on Thursday & today was predicted to be 94 degrees. My solution was that we would give the kids big bowls of ice to keep their laps & mouths cool while we hit the open road. Jeremy decided to add 2 coolers with ice also. Did I mention this would be the first time my 11 person family would ride in our van together?
Jeremy wanted to get some computer work done so I drove Clifford the Big Red Van. We had all the normal chaos of our rides & wondering how long til we get there. I noticed another big van pass us & looked to see how many kids I could see inside. About half an hour into our 3 hour drive Jeremy motioned for me to move to the other lane because he saw a tractor further up the road. Being the dutiful wife, I signaled & moved over. What happened next was terrifying & in slow motion in my mind.
The 15 passenger van that just passed us hit the truck following the tractor & spun around with glass & twisted metal. I hit the brakes while checking my mirrors & wondering if I could stop fast enough without hitting them too. I don't remember pulling over. I don't remember stopping. I see a picture of the driver getting out of the front seat & running to the crushed passenger door. I see my feet hitting the ground after checking behind me for on coming traffic. I see a little boy climbing out of the driver's door with blood pouring down his face. I'm calling to him to come to me. His name is B. I tell him he's hurt & I need him to lay down in the grass. I'm holding his forehead together & calling for Jeremy to bring the cooler of ice, blankets, towels, pillows, whatever. I'm signaling for help.
The man behind our van comes & gives me his shirt to help staunch the blood. Now more little kids are being lined up on the grass next to me. Brody is there & I ask him to put pressure on B's head while I assess the other kids. B's sister's hips hurt & she has no scrapes. Her abdomen is soft & she wants her mama. I tell her she is brave & give her my sunglasses to keep the sun out of her eyes while I check her toes & fingers for feeling. E has a contusion on his face & a scrape on his leg but he's so quiet I'm worried that he's hurt elsewhere. I have him lay on the blanket next to his brother whose back hurts. He doesn't hurt anywhere else & I tell him he must lay very still until the paramedics come. He isn't wearing a shirt. Little R & her sister have seat belt injuries & I'm worried about internal bleeding for Little R. They are a family of 10 children but only 7 are in the van.
Other drivers that are stopped are bringing umbrellas to shade them while they lay in the grass & sun. We are putting ice on the bruises & bumps. I have Julia get my oils & put Lavender on the little ones to help calm them. I'm trying to give directions & keep the crying children calm. I'm not sure if their dad is hurt but he's trying to walk back & forth in the ditch comforting his children as best he can. He says he looked back for just a second...
The man driving the truck has a laceration on the back of his head. Another driver is assisting him & I stay with the kids. There are so many helpful people around them. Finally the police & 2 ambulances arrive. I gave the paramedics the triage info. They start doing the same assessments that I just did which reassures me that I haven't forgotten my skills from nursing school. The police ask all the helpers to leave but I still feel like I need to stay. How can I leave these scared children? They begin to put them into ambulances. They are going to different hospitals depending on their injuries. I still don't want to leave.I still have B's blood all over my hands. I get some wipes from the Ambulance.
I get into the van. Brody tells me that there were 3 other nurses & a doctor that stopped with us. Jeremy gave the sheriff our numbers. The policeman says that the truck is leaking gas & they disconnected the battery just in case. It took a lot of wipes to get the blood off my hands & wrists & feet but I can't get the images out of my brain. I wasn't very chatty at the open house. The whole thing is on instant replay in my mind.
I'll probably never see them again but I'm praying for B & E & R & all the rest of them.
Today was a busy day. Lots was accomplished before noon by our whole family. This afternoon we were excited to head to eastern Iowa to attend Leah's graduation open house. Family functions are always fun when you've got cousins to play with & talk to. The only fly in my cream was that the AC in our van conked out on Thursday & today was predicted to be 94 degrees. My solution was that we would give the kids big bowls of ice to keep their laps & mouths cool while we hit the open road. Jeremy decided to add 2 coolers with ice also. Did I mention this would be the first time my 11 person family would ride in our van together?
Jeremy wanted to get some computer work done so I drove Clifford the Big Red Van. We had all the normal chaos of our rides & wondering how long til we get there. I noticed another big van pass us & looked to see how many kids I could see inside. About half an hour into our 3 hour drive Jeremy motioned for me to move to the other lane because he saw a tractor further up the road. Being the dutiful wife, I signaled & moved over. What happened next was terrifying & in slow motion in my mind.
The 15 passenger van that just passed us hit the truck following the tractor & spun around with glass & twisted metal. I hit the brakes while checking my mirrors & wondering if I could stop fast enough without hitting them too. I don't remember pulling over. I don't remember stopping. I see a picture of the driver getting out of the front seat & running to the crushed passenger door. I see my feet hitting the ground after checking behind me for on coming traffic. I see a little boy climbing out of the driver's door with blood pouring down his face. I'm calling to him to come to me. His name is B. I tell him he's hurt & I need him to lay down in the grass. I'm holding his forehead together & calling for Jeremy to bring the cooler of ice, blankets, towels, pillows, whatever. I'm signaling for help.
The man behind our van comes & gives me his shirt to help staunch the blood. Now more little kids are being lined up on the grass next to me. Brody is there & I ask him to put pressure on B's head while I assess the other kids. B's sister's hips hurt & she has no scrapes. Her abdomen is soft & she wants her mama. I tell her she is brave & give her my sunglasses to keep the sun out of her eyes while I check her toes & fingers for feeling. E has a contusion on his face & a scrape on his leg but he's so quiet I'm worried that he's hurt elsewhere. I have him lay on the blanket next to his brother whose back hurts. He doesn't hurt anywhere else & I tell him he must lay very still until the paramedics come. He isn't wearing a shirt. Little R & her sister have seat belt injuries & I'm worried about internal bleeding for Little R. They are a family of 10 children but only 7 are in the van.
Other drivers that are stopped are bringing umbrellas to shade them while they lay in the grass & sun. We are putting ice on the bruises & bumps. I have Julia get my oils & put Lavender on the little ones to help calm them. I'm trying to give directions & keep the crying children calm. I'm not sure if their dad is hurt but he's trying to walk back & forth in the ditch comforting his children as best he can. He says he looked back for just a second...
The man driving the truck has a laceration on the back of his head. Another driver is assisting him & I stay with the kids. There are so many helpful people around them. Finally the police & 2 ambulances arrive. I gave the paramedics the triage info. They start doing the same assessments that I just did which reassures me that I haven't forgotten my skills from nursing school. The police ask all the helpers to leave but I still feel like I need to stay. How can I leave these scared children? They begin to put them into ambulances. They are going to different hospitals depending on their injuries. I still don't want to leave.I still have B's blood all over my hands. I get some wipes from the Ambulance.
I get into the van. Brody tells me that there were 3 other nurses & a doctor that stopped with us. Jeremy gave the sheriff our numbers. The policeman says that the truck is leaking gas & they disconnected the battery just in case. It took a lot of wipes to get the blood off my hands & wrists & feet but I can't get the images out of my brain. I wasn't very chatty at the open house. The whole thing is on instant replay in my mind.
I'll probably never see them again but I'm praying for B & E & R & all the rest of them.
Wednesday, September 7, 2016
Pausing in the Rain
It's raining today- off & on -and it should be. Now I can sit wrapped up in my quilt & listen to the rain with some hot cocoa. (I have the a/c turned up so that it matches my memories of Oregon weather). The reason I want to sit like this is because my Grammie died after her body succumbed to liver cancer, so rain-like in Oregon, the quilt she made me for graduation, & hot cocoa like she would make me while camping as a kid are all part of my plan.
I knew it was coming. They sent me a text last week. When you live thousands of miles away from your relatives, Facebook is the greatest for communication but completely insufficient when it comes to saying goodbye to your grandmother. I don't know if it makes it easier to live far away or harder. I get to remember her as she was not as she was at the end, but I didn't get to hug her. I haven't hugged her in more than 3yrs.
How do you say goodbye to a woman that was so integral in your childhood that even though you only lived in the area as her for 10yrs, you still feel very close to her? Well, my way is to remember all that I can about her & share that with my children. I contacted all my cousins & collected some of their memories to put together & that was fun. I hope that when Aunt Marci read them to her, they brought a smile to her heart just like she brings a smile to my heart when I hear about her.
I have to go now. The rain started again.
I knew it was coming. They sent me a text last week. When you live thousands of miles away from your relatives, Facebook is the greatest for communication but completely insufficient when it comes to saying goodbye to your grandmother. I don't know if it makes it easier to live far away or harder. I get to remember her as she was not as she was at the end, but I didn't get to hug her. I haven't hugged her in more than 3yrs.
How do you say goodbye to a woman that was so integral in your childhood that even though you only lived in the area as her for 10yrs, you still feel very close to her? Well, my way is to remember all that I can about her & share that with my children. I contacted all my cousins & collected some of their memories to put together & that was fun. I hope that when Aunt Marci read them to her, they brought a smile to her heart just like she brings a smile to my heart when I hear about her.
I have to go now. The rain started again.
Sunday, April 17, 2016
Live In The Moment Occasionally
Have you ever just sat down & watched your kids? Noticed the little things that others might miss in the hurried pace of life? When I was a young mom I was so excited to get my babies to the next step in their development. (I may or may not have actually been checking it off of the list the pediatrician gave to me while simultaneously marveling at the sheer intelligence & physical prowess of my babies as they exceeded almost all of the important milestones. Now I've been told I'm an old mom-can you believe that! I guess with age comes a hope of maturity & I've noticed that I do some things a little differently than when I was a "young" mom.
One of the major changes has been that I no longer jump to check things off that developmental list. I celebrate each milestone but I now enjoy each tiny little thing they learn. The utter joy in their face when they accomplish something new is something so easy to overlook. Here's a list of my "joys" I've been noticing lately:
* the tiny slap of my 10mo old's palm on the floor as she crawls along with her cute little diaper bum & the wonderfully varied facial expressions she uses.
* the way my 2yo cocks his head to the side when he's observing something he's never encountered before & the hilarious things he says. I love how he tries to join in our conversations by telling us important things about his day or just quotes a movie line that usually makes sense to the situation.
* my 4yo wants so badly to be just like her big sisters & is trying to emulate their styles now instead of only wearing pants & any old shirt like last year & her tiny fingers as she grasps pencils & crayons to "do school" just like her older siblings.
* my 6yo looks for the beauty in every situation, listens before she enters a conversation, & her eyes are gorgeous to watch. I love the way she moves her hair back behind her ear with her hand when she's telling me something she's excited about.
* my 8yo is caught between wanting to be a big & the familiarity of being a little so he is feeling frustrated most days. He holds his bangs in his palm when he concentrates really hard.
* my 11yo is so fast to learn things. She started playing the flute 3 months ago & amazes me that she can play so well already. Watching her fingers move & her mouth shape as she plays is so interesting.
* my 13yo has made some big strides since joining the public school crowd. I've seen him start to figure out how to put himself in other people's shoes & his ears turn bright red when he's excited.
* the biggest thing I know about my 14yo is that he's bigger than me. I have to be on my toes to rest my chin on his shoulder. He's just realizing his strength (which is now stronger than me! I know, it's hard to believe!) His heart & sensitivity to all parts of life around him is something I'd like to encourage & I hope he doesn't lose as he gets older.
Take the time to notice the little things about your family
One of the major changes has been that I no longer jump to check things off that developmental list. I celebrate each milestone but I now enjoy each tiny little thing they learn. The utter joy in their face when they accomplish something new is something so easy to overlook. Here's a list of my "joys" I've been noticing lately:
* the tiny slap of my 10mo old's palm on the floor as she crawls along with her cute little diaper bum & the wonderfully varied facial expressions she uses.
* the way my 2yo cocks his head to the side when he's observing something he's never encountered before & the hilarious things he says. I love how he tries to join in our conversations by telling us important things about his day or just quotes a movie line that usually makes sense to the situation.
* my 4yo wants so badly to be just like her big sisters & is trying to emulate their styles now instead of only wearing pants & any old shirt like last year & her tiny fingers as she grasps pencils & crayons to "do school" just like her older siblings.
* my 6yo looks for the beauty in every situation, listens before she enters a conversation, & her eyes are gorgeous to watch. I love the way she moves her hair back behind her ear with her hand when she's telling me something she's excited about.
* my 8yo is caught between wanting to be a big & the familiarity of being a little so he is feeling frustrated most days. He holds his bangs in his palm when he concentrates really hard.
* my 11yo is so fast to learn things. She started playing the flute 3 months ago & amazes me that she can play so well already. Watching her fingers move & her mouth shape as she plays is so interesting.
* my 13yo has made some big strides since joining the public school crowd. I've seen him start to figure out how to put himself in other people's shoes & his ears turn bright red when he's excited.
* the biggest thing I know about my 14yo is that he's bigger than me. I have to be on my toes to rest my chin on his shoulder. He's just realizing his strength (which is now stronger than me! I know, it's hard to believe!) His heart & sensitivity to all parts of life around him is something I'd like to encourage & I hope he doesn't lose as he gets older.
Take the time to notice the little things about your family
Monday, February 15, 2016
Aspergers, Underpants, & Jesus
Alright, so some of you know that I have 2 kids with Aspergers. We don't walk around advertising it & you might never know by just observing our family. But I thought I'd give you an example how life can be.
One particular child has outgrown or put holes in all but one pair of underpants (and failed to tell me until the last pair had been worn for AN ENTIRE WEEK!). I asked said child what style of underpants I should purchase to replace these with and headed out to get this accomplished so the stanky ones can be fumigated or whatever.
Sunday morning, Valentines Day, underpants given to child. Child puts them on. They are WRONG! Activate stress meter. Are you kidding me! I bought the correct style. I bought tagless ones to avoid that war. I tried to find soft ones. I tried to anticipate EVERY MAJOR DETERRENT to said underpants.
FAIL!!!!!!
By the end of the morning this child couldn't attend church. Life wasn't worth living-serious. And just so you know, by the end of the hour long melt down I was enlightened to the fact that I don't love Jesus & neither do ya'll.
You didn't know purchasing underpants could be spiritually detrimental, did you?
I'm headed back to WalMart where spiritual decisions must be made AGAIN.
One particular child has outgrown or put holes in all but one pair of underpants (and failed to tell me until the last pair had been worn for AN ENTIRE WEEK!). I asked said child what style of underpants I should purchase to replace these with and headed out to get this accomplished so the stanky ones can be fumigated or whatever.
Sunday morning, Valentines Day, underpants given to child. Child puts them on. They are WRONG! Activate stress meter. Are you kidding me! I bought the correct style. I bought tagless ones to avoid that war. I tried to find soft ones. I tried to anticipate EVERY MAJOR DETERRENT to said underpants.
FAIL!!!!!!
By the end of the morning this child couldn't attend church. Life wasn't worth living-serious. And just so you know, by the end of the hour long melt down I was enlightened to the fact that I don't love Jesus & neither do ya'll.
You didn't know purchasing underpants could be spiritually detrimental, did you?
I'm headed back to WalMart where spiritual decisions must be made AGAIN.
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