Picture this. First day of 8th grade for me at Calapooia Middle School. I enter my Advanced English class & sit down with my friends that I'd had for 2 whole years. ( the longest I went to any school was 3 years as we moved a lot) Our first assignment of the year is to interview a fellow classmate & then present the info the following day-cake for advanced English students, right?! The next day we all settle in for a fun time of learning new things about our friends & classmates. My friend Andi gets up & tells the class that when I grow up I want to be a pig farmer's wife. A couple presentations later another presenter lets us all know that Andy Johnson wants to be a pig farmer...no joke! I'll let you guess who overheard the interview & tailored his or her answer to fit the day. (Note: when I moved at the end of the year I was shocked when I read in my yearbook that Andy Johnson had had just as much of a crush on me as I'd had on him ;)
I tell you this story because I've come to a huge realization this week. This is it! I've arrived! My dream of being a farmer's wife & all the romantic pioneer woman books I read have come true. I know it's just a hobby farm but I get to wake up & do farm chores! I haul water to animals in my barn (the water lines weren't finished before the ground became a tundra), muck stalls, feed animals, gather eggs, watch eagles, hawks, & other birds fly over our land. I love listening to my rooster crow & my goats bleat & the steer lowing. While I am deathly allergic to cats, I have 8 kittens that I love to watch & cuddle (with my layers of covering & immediate washing afterward). My dog is a perfect fit for our family. The deer running through. The fox across the road that lives in the brush. I don't enjoy going to town SO I DON'T except for church & grocery items & very important "meetings" with my gals a couple times a month. It's fabulous!
I told Jeremy that I can't ever move back to town. I didn't realize how much all that white noise bothers me. Did you know that you can hear lights? It hurts my head. The noise of furnaces, music in stores, and many other things irritates me now. Or maybe it always did & I didn't even know it. I find absolute peace walking in the stillness down my hill to stand by the creek. I can hear the water underneath the ice (unless one of my kids comes too). Even the cold & snow don't bother me as much out here. I used to get cabin fever in town since we have winter for what feels like 8mo of the year. It's not that bad out here.
I love my life! The sights, the smells, the sounds, the peace. It's all perfect for us! I'm so excited to do it again tomorrow! I pray that this never gets old.
owl
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Getting ready for Christmas & family
As I sit at the computer snuggling with my bright eyed baby, I'm drawn back to my blog which has been neglected as of late. Ok, really it's hit or miss. But I thought I'd get down some of what I've been trying to process in my brain lately.
This is a fun time of year here on the acreage. All our neighbors are harvesting & putting up hay for the winter.The landscape changes drastically & we got to be a part of the changing landscape in that we've been building a barn! Jeremy bought the plans online & at least 75% of the materials he's used have been salvage type stuff he bought off Craigslist or local auctions. I'm so proud of my husband! (Yes, I said MY HUSBAND because I claim him as mine) While we've been married for 15 1/2 years, he never ceases to amaze me with his abilities! This barn is so cool that I've entertained thoughts of just turning it into a home rather than let animals inside...seriously! We've had many friends out to help & we're so appreciative of them all!!!! Our kids have all had different levels of commitment on different days but they loved to be out with their dad helping with various tasks. Jeremy exhibited great patience (most of the time) while teaching the kids to measure, straighten, use many power tools, and other carpentry skills. Granted it's been awhile since we've gotten to sit on the couch & just 'be' but hopefully our lives will be much easier this winter with a barn the pony & goats & for the kids to play in when it's super cold & they're bored in the house.
While I got to help a couple of times, my primary jobs have been to feed the barn crews, maintain the sanity of the house & take care of my babies. It's really not advisable to have an infant or a 2yo to be on a construction site. Especially with a generator, 2 compressors, & the noises of power tools. All of this time on my hands (read "NO time on my hands for anything but treading water") lends one time to think (read "she only gets to think at 1am, 3am & 5am before she falls back into an exhausted stupor").
If you're still reading, I'm gonna get deep...
What has come of my exorbitant amount of thinking time? Well, I'm really struggling with Christmas. I know. What's the biggie? I mean, it's a fun holiday, right? Well, I personally love Christmas. I have at least 10 plastic totes in my basement full of decorations for the season that I can't wait to get out after Thanksgiving is over. I want the magic of the season that I felt as a child for my children...but my heart & my mind are at war over this. You see, I want them to be inundated with the story of Christ's birth not what present they want. I want them to yearn for more in their relationship with Christ rather than yearning for the newest, greatest electronic device. I want the real reason we celebrate Christmas to be more important than all the fluff.
Then, I learn things like Christmas trees are from a pagan practice and I find myself getting more & more disgusted with the whole thing that I tend to want to toss it all. I'm trying not to throw out the baby with the bathwater but where do I draw the line? I don't want to be guilty of taking something as wonderful as the birth of our Savior & turning it into a Christmas palooza with a little God thrown in for good measure. While we don't do Santa, I really like all the fun things that go with Christmas like the Christmas specials on tv & the decorations & special foods. But how do I make sure that it's 95% God, 5% extras that have nothing to do with God but people just throw them in because they want to celebrate even though they don't believe in Him? Should I be satisfied with it & just go on? Should I feel like a scrooge for not participating in all the extra activities of the season? Don't get me wrong, my heart beats faster just walking into Hobby Lobby with all the great Christmas stuff & the songs & the smells! I LOVE it! I'm just all mixed up as how to do this the way Christ expects me to. What's your take? Help me out.
This is a fun time of year here on the acreage. All our neighbors are harvesting & putting up hay for the winter.The landscape changes drastically & we got to be a part of the changing landscape in that we've been building a barn! Jeremy bought the plans online & at least 75% of the materials he's used have been salvage type stuff he bought off Craigslist or local auctions. I'm so proud of my husband! (Yes, I said MY HUSBAND because I claim him as mine) While we've been married for 15 1/2 years, he never ceases to amaze me with his abilities! This barn is so cool that I've entertained thoughts of just turning it into a home rather than let animals inside...seriously! We've had many friends out to help & we're so appreciative of them all!!!! Our kids have all had different levels of commitment on different days but they loved to be out with their dad helping with various tasks. Jeremy exhibited great patience (most of the time) while teaching the kids to measure, straighten, use many power tools, and other carpentry skills. Granted it's been awhile since we've gotten to sit on the couch & just 'be' but hopefully our lives will be much easier this winter with a barn the pony & goats & for the kids to play in when it's super cold & they're bored in the house.
While I got to help a couple of times, my primary jobs have been to feed the barn crews, maintain the sanity of the house & take care of my babies. It's really not advisable to have an infant or a 2yo to be on a construction site. Especially with a generator, 2 compressors, & the noises of power tools. All of this time on my hands (read "NO time on my hands for anything but treading water") lends one time to think (read "she only gets to think at 1am, 3am & 5am before she falls back into an exhausted stupor").
If you're still reading, I'm gonna get deep...
What has come of my exorbitant amount of thinking time? Well, I'm really struggling with Christmas. I know. What's the biggie? I mean, it's a fun holiday, right? Well, I personally love Christmas. I have at least 10 plastic totes in my basement full of decorations for the season that I can't wait to get out after Thanksgiving is over. I want the magic of the season that I felt as a child for my children...but my heart & my mind are at war over this. You see, I want them to be inundated with the story of Christ's birth not what present they want. I want them to yearn for more in their relationship with Christ rather than yearning for the newest, greatest electronic device. I want the real reason we celebrate Christmas to be more important than all the fluff.
Then, I learn things like Christmas trees are from a pagan practice and I find myself getting more & more disgusted with the whole thing that I tend to want to toss it all. I'm trying not to throw out the baby with the bathwater but where do I draw the line? I don't want to be guilty of taking something as wonderful as the birth of our Savior & turning it into a Christmas palooza with a little God thrown in for good measure. While we don't do Santa, I really like all the fun things that go with Christmas like the Christmas specials on tv & the decorations & special foods. But how do I make sure that it's 95% God, 5% extras that have nothing to do with God but people just throw them in because they want to celebrate even though they don't believe in Him? Should I be satisfied with it & just go on? Should I feel like a scrooge for not participating in all the extra activities of the season? Don't get me wrong, my heart beats faster just walking into Hobby Lobby with all the great Christmas stuff & the songs & the smells! I LOVE it! I'm just all mixed up as how to do this the way Christ expects me to. What's your take? Help me out.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Baby love
This is my 8th pregnancy. I have 6 beautiful/handsome children to show for all the work and one coming the end of July or beginning of Aug. Some people have dubbed me a professional just because of the numbers but I don't feel that way. Every pregnancy and baby are so different that I don't feel like you could be a professional. I do think that with each pregnancy I've gotten more aware of my babies both in utero & after they're in my arms. I know that with each successive child I've become more grateful for each little kick & roll I feel. I revel in their tiny ears, the squishy heels, the way their tongues work while eating, the accomplishment of fists grabbing at and stuffing one cereal piece in their chubby cheeks. Watching & listening to my 18mo old child finally figuring out verbal communication & the adorable words they come up with as their vocabulary develops (like "tittle"-tiny & little or "pretembering"-pretending & remembering). These are the things I'd like to bottle and keep for later when I have more time to just sit & contemplate. But let's be serious. I have lots of laundry, dishes, etc to attend to. So, for now, I'll try to take a snap shot in my mind before I hurry off to the next task. But if you see me stare off in the distance with a goofy smile on my face, just know I'm trying to store a memory for later ~ I'm not crazy.
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
I'm not that girl...but sometimes I wish I were
It all started with Facebook's birthday reminders. I began to think about all the well-wishers posting something on my friends' walls. It came so easily for them. A simple "Happy Birthday". Easy right? Not for me.
Well, truth be told, it began with all the thank you notes I was taught to write for every birthday or Christmas. A simple salutation isn't as simple as your parents & teachers lead you to believe. As a child learning the time honored skill of thank you notes lead me to much anxiety as I tried to decide the appropriate way to sign off of that note...Sincerely, Yours Truly, Love You or my personal favorite Cordially... & I decided that drawing a heart was all I could pen without assigning too much feeling or too little.
You see, I am not that girl.
I am not the girl that speaks her feelings to just anyone.
I am not the girl who gives hugs freely.
I am not the girl who says "I love you" to anyone just willy nilly.
I am not the girl who expresses deep feelings out loud in the light of day.
I don't do confrontation.
I can speak unashamedly about my HANDSOME, almost PERFECT husband.
I can speak of my children with great enthusiasm & sometimes frustration.
I hold intelligent conversations about what God is doing in our lives.
I can extol the wonders of homeschooling for our family.
I love to talk chicken care.
Medical care is fascinating for me with my nursing background.
I could go on & on about birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, & related subjects.
I'm sometimes lose the opportunity to speak on something in a conversation because I'm thinking about how to say it correctly & everyone moves on. (Although I can speak with abandon about things that don't matter in the grand scheme of life because I'm so excited to just speak with someone over the age of 11!)
The rub comes when conversation turns to deeply emotional topics. When I get the courage to speak about things that affect me deeply, I shake. My whole body shakes, my voice quivers & my teeth chatter while I try to get out whatever it is that is so important. My husband knows that something is really important to me when I begin to shake while speaking & it's usually at night when I can finally get it out. This is not his best time to talk as he is a morning person but he tries really hard to give me his undivided attention when I finally get up the gumption to talk to him at 11pm or later. Right now, as I type, my hands are beginning to shake.
There are times that I wish I were the girl who could just say "I love you" to people. But then, that seems too intimate like something I should reserve for just my husband & kids. I have very strong feelings for my family & my close friends but it feels weird to say that as you leave their house. "Thanks for having me over. I have very strong feelings for you." or signing off on the phone "Well, it was good talking to you. I have very strong feelings for you, Good bye". See, it's weird.
I have been trying to be more verbal when I sign off on the phone with my sisters & my grandma. I make a point of saying I love you even though it makes my stomach hurt. I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid they just feel obligated to say it because I said it first. Or if they say it first & I reply they assume it's just the cursory reply like at church when people say "Hi, how are you?" and you know that they expect you to reply with "fine, how are you" when you aren't really fine but they don't actually want to hear anything else so they can keep on walking to their destination. But that's another topic entirely. I really do love them.
I am loyal to the core. I remember my first fight was in the 1st grade. A little boy named Shawno Johnson was chasing my twin best pals Sadie & Jenny Wiens & they were really upset so I socked him in the chest & told him to knock it off. Now, I have moved over 27 times, lived in 4 states, gone to 3 elementary schools, 1 middle school, 3 high schools, 1 university, & nursing school. I remember the names of my friends from each place & sometimes my brother & sisters info, too. I fondly remember all the kids from my various church youth groups. I especially remember all the adventures with my cousins even though we only lived by them until I was 10.
I want people to know how I feel but words are so flippantly used. People say they love pizza or movies & I say it sometimes also. I feel like it would be so much easier to show them. I could make them dinner when they are sick or take care of their kids when they need a break. I could serve them any number of ways but I know that many people need to hear how I feel. I have 2 children & a husband who's love language is encouraging words so it's definitely know how important this is.
As stated above this realization all came to a head on Facebook. All those birthday wishes were fine & I resigned myself to the fact that I didn't have to feel guilty about not sending the cursory "Happy Birthday" worded differently than everyone else's so that they know it wasn't just expected because Facebook told me to do it. People don't know if you're sarcastic, teasing or serious even if you use those smiley faces.
...But then, a HUGE thing happened! My cousin's wife got cancer. I know that a lot of people aren't close to their family. Especially when they live in a different part of the country & have only met in real life a couple of times. But I have VERY strong feelings for my family & I had recently found a kindred spirit in Stacey. I introduced her to my favorite website board for mothers of many children (she has 5 & I have 7) & found that we have many of the same ideals & interests. She was my connection to my extended family during a really tough time when I didn't know how they felt or if they even wanted me in the family anymore. Then, she got cancer & I began to pray fervently daily. She was always in my thoughts but I couldn't send a note so I sent a care package for the kids. People are sending words of encouragement via Facebook & the Caringbridge site but I can't bring myself to write anything worth sending. It never seems to fully express what I am feeling. I don't want to say the wrong thing but I don't know what the right thing to say is either. I want to say something but...
I am not that girl but sometimes I want to be.
Then, yesterday God reminded me that there are many words for love in the Greek. 1. Phileo "brotherly love", 2. Storge "parents' love", 3. Eros "sexual love", & 4. Agape "Godly love". I came to the realization that I need to focus on the definition of Phileo love & try to express that out loud more often to more people (just not willy nilly). I'm going to try to say something because I would rather be the person who said something than the one that didn't say something & nobody knows the extent to which I really do love them. A great fear of mine would be that someone would think I don't care at all when I really have such great affection & love for them. That would be much worse than not getting a reply or worse, getting a cursory reply that meant nothing.
I am not that girl, but I'm going to try.
Well, truth be told, it began with all the thank you notes I was taught to write for every birthday or Christmas. A simple salutation isn't as simple as your parents & teachers lead you to believe. As a child learning the time honored skill of thank you notes lead me to much anxiety as I tried to decide the appropriate way to sign off of that note...Sincerely, Yours Truly, Love You or my personal favorite Cordially... & I decided that drawing a heart was all I could pen without assigning too much feeling or too little.
You see, I am not that girl.
I am not the girl that speaks her feelings to just anyone.
I am not the girl who gives hugs freely.
I am not the girl who says "I love you" to anyone just willy nilly.
I am not the girl who expresses deep feelings out loud in the light of day.
I don't do confrontation.
I can speak unashamedly about my HANDSOME, almost PERFECT husband.
I can speak of my children with great enthusiasm & sometimes frustration.
I hold intelligent conversations about what God is doing in our lives.
I can extol the wonders of homeschooling for our family.
I love to talk chicken care.
Medical care is fascinating for me with my nursing background.
I could go on & on about birth, breastfeeding, cloth diapering, & related subjects.
I'm sometimes lose the opportunity to speak on something in a conversation because I'm thinking about how to say it correctly & everyone moves on. (Although I can speak with abandon about things that don't matter in the grand scheme of life because I'm so excited to just speak with someone over the age of 11!)
The rub comes when conversation turns to deeply emotional topics. When I get the courage to speak about things that affect me deeply, I shake. My whole body shakes, my voice quivers & my teeth chatter while I try to get out whatever it is that is so important. My husband knows that something is really important to me when I begin to shake while speaking & it's usually at night when I can finally get it out. This is not his best time to talk as he is a morning person but he tries really hard to give me his undivided attention when I finally get up the gumption to talk to him at 11pm or later. Right now, as I type, my hands are beginning to shake.
There are times that I wish I were the girl who could just say "I love you" to people. But then, that seems too intimate like something I should reserve for just my husband & kids. I have very strong feelings for my family & my close friends but it feels weird to say that as you leave their house. "Thanks for having me over. I have very strong feelings for you." or signing off on the phone "Well, it was good talking to you. I have very strong feelings for you, Good bye". See, it's weird.
I have been trying to be more verbal when I sign off on the phone with my sisters & my grandma. I make a point of saying I love you even though it makes my stomach hurt. I don't know why. Maybe I'm afraid they just feel obligated to say it because I said it first. Or if they say it first & I reply they assume it's just the cursory reply like at church when people say "Hi, how are you?" and you know that they expect you to reply with "fine, how are you" when you aren't really fine but they don't actually want to hear anything else so they can keep on walking to their destination. But that's another topic entirely. I really do love them.
I am loyal to the core. I remember my first fight was in the 1st grade. A little boy named Shawno Johnson was chasing my twin best pals Sadie & Jenny Wiens & they were really upset so I socked him in the chest & told him to knock it off. Now, I have moved over 27 times, lived in 4 states, gone to 3 elementary schools, 1 middle school, 3 high schools, 1 university, & nursing school. I remember the names of my friends from each place & sometimes my brother & sisters info, too. I fondly remember all the kids from my various church youth groups. I especially remember all the adventures with my cousins even though we only lived by them until I was 10.
I want people to know how I feel but words are so flippantly used. People say they love pizza or movies & I say it sometimes also. I feel like it would be so much easier to show them. I could make them dinner when they are sick or take care of their kids when they need a break. I could serve them any number of ways but I know that many people need to hear how I feel. I have 2 children & a husband who's love language is encouraging words so it's definitely know how important this is.
As stated above this realization all came to a head on Facebook. All those birthday wishes were fine & I resigned myself to the fact that I didn't have to feel guilty about not sending the cursory "Happy Birthday" worded differently than everyone else's so that they know it wasn't just expected because Facebook told me to do it. People don't know if you're sarcastic, teasing or serious even if you use those smiley faces.
...But then, a HUGE thing happened! My cousin's wife got cancer. I know that a lot of people aren't close to their family. Especially when they live in a different part of the country & have only met in real life a couple of times. But I have VERY strong feelings for my family & I had recently found a kindred spirit in Stacey. I introduced her to my favorite website board for mothers of many children (she has 5 & I have 7) & found that we have many of the same ideals & interests. She was my connection to my extended family during a really tough time when I didn't know how they felt or if they even wanted me in the family anymore. Then, she got cancer & I began to pray fervently daily. She was always in my thoughts but I couldn't send a note so I sent a care package for the kids. People are sending words of encouragement via Facebook & the Caringbridge site but I can't bring myself to write anything worth sending. It never seems to fully express what I am feeling. I don't want to say the wrong thing but I don't know what the right thing to say is either. I want to say something but...
I am not that girl but sometimes I want to be.
Then, yesterday God reminded me that there are many words for love in the Greek. 1. Phileo "brotherly love", 2. Storge "parents' love", 3. Eros "sexual love", & 4. Agape "Godly love". I came to the realization that I need to focus on the definition of Phileo love & try to express that out loud more often to more people (just not willy nilly). I'm going to try to say something because I would rather be the person who said something than the one that didn't say something & nobody knows the extent to which I really do love them. A great fear of mine would be that someone would think I don't care at all when I really have such great affection & love for them. That would be much worse than not getting a reply or worse, getting a cursory reply that meant nothing.
I am not that girl, but I'm going to try.
Wednesday, February 13, 2013
All 8 survived!
Flu season has been rampant around our area & I have been especially diligent in keeping my kids away from stores & other germ infested areas. We've only been leaving the house for church & 4H. I go to the grocery store myself when necessary. I'm not a germ-a-phobe but my husband is & since my now 5 yo was hospitalized at 10wks for RSV, I try to keep winter germs away. But, we managed to contract the dreaded sickness anyway.
I took the 3 big kids to Winter Jam which is a 5.5hr Christian rock concert with over 30,000 people. I got a migraine during the concert that just wouldn't go away & by Monday I was beginning of influenza. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't get the flu shot & neither did my 6 kids or my husband. The flu isn't really that bad. I'm quite sure that we would have been just fine except for the fact that I began this journey with a 3 day migraine & all day morning sickness on top of it all. The rest of the family did not get it as bad as I did, for which I am so thankful. But, I was wiped out & now that 3wks have passed I've just not begun to get my energy back. If it weren't for my husband & my mother-in-law taking care of absolutely everything for a week so that I could rest & fight this...well let's just say it would've been horrible for me to try to remember everyone's acetaminophen, Tamilflu, & be a good mama.
I still don't think that we'll get a flu shot next year. Unless one of us develops an immune deficiency or this new baby is a premie, we'll just take it if it comes. I don't like all the scare tactics that you get through the media. Your body is made to fight off diseases & I don't think adding unnecessary things is good for us. But that's my soap box & it's another post. (*Note* I do vaccinate my kids so don't get your panties in a twist)
The purpose of this post is to say thank you to my husband & my very giving mother-in-law! I really appreciate all you did for me & the kids.We are so blessed to have you!
I took the 3 big kids to Winter Jam which is a 5.5hr Christian rock concert with over 30,000 people. I got a migraine during the concert that just wouldn't go away & by Monday I was beginning of influenza. Now, don't get me wrong. I didn't get the flu shot & neither did my 6 kids or my husband. The flu isn't really that bad. I'm quite sure that we would have been just fine except for the fact that I began this journey with a 3 day migraine & all day morning sickness on top of it all. The rest of the family did not get it as bad as I did, for which I am so thankful. But, I was wiped out & now that 3wks have passed I've just not begun to get my energy back. If it weren't for my husband & my mother-in-law taking care of absolutely everything for a week so that I could rest & fight this...well let's just say it would've been horrible for me to try to remember everyone's acetaminophen, Tamilflu, & be a good mama.
I still don't think that we'll get a flu shot next year. Unless one of us develops an immune deficiency or this new baby is a premie, we'll just take it if it comes. I don't like all the scare tactics that you get through the media. Your body is made to fight off diseases & I don't think adding unnecessary things is good for us. But that's my soap box & it's another post. (*Note* I do vaccinate my kids so don't get your panties in a twist)
The purpose of this post is to say thank you to my husband & my very giving mother-in-law! I really appreciate all you did for me & the kids.We are so blessed to have you!
Tuesday, October 23, 2012
Farmer's Life
On September 20th we finally closed on our home in the country. We now have 25.9 acres (mostly timber) that our children can finally be themselves on. They can play guns & not frighten the neighbors. They can build a fort, a tree house & a chicken coop (which they have) without getting a building permit & upsetting the neighbors. Sage can get up at 545am & go outside & sing to the stars & dog without disturbing the neighbors (well, the deer haven't complained yet) They can play football & baseball & basketball during school hours if they want to. They can pretend to be spies in the forest or trackers or explorers or whatever. They can have animals & watch birds & find wildlife outside our windows. So far, this has been all we've dreamed it would be. I might change my mind towards winter when I'm snowed in for too long with 6 squirrely kids but for now it sounds perfect. The only parts that annoy me now are the incessant flies & the grass/dirt tracked in by children that forget to remove their shoes or just plain don't wear shoes outside.
OK actually I thought of one more thing. The neighbor's dog is a blue healer & he ate one of my chickens. I'm a little frustrated with him because he put 2 holes in my fence & he barred his teeth at me when I tried to get him away from the chickens. I think I might take the advice of some friends and use some pepper spray on him because he thinks he lives here & never leaves!
Jeremy & I are having fun working together on the farm though. We did build a rather big chicken coop completely out of pallets. We saw a youtube video on how to do it & we ran with it. It took us longer than the 2 days that it took the guy in the video but I like to work with Jeremy. One of the things that attracted me to him when we were dating was going to his grandparents' farm to work with him. Now I get to do it again...if I can get the kids to watch the babies long enough. The latest is that Jeremy put a solar panel up on the wall of the coop that will power the RV batteries that will allow my chickens to have enough light in the coop so that they will lay eggs all winter. It will also allow me or the kids to see when we have to clean out the coop on those dark winter days that are coming soon. I did make the fence for the run all by myself while he was at work. I'm kinda proud of it but not too much. I learned to use the table saw, reciprocating saw, saw-za, nail guns, staple guns, how to shingle & put up siding.
So, next spring we hope to put up some sort of barn or Morton Bldg so that we can get some goats, a cow, maybe a couple of sheep...who knows. Of course, Jeremy will have his great big garden which means that I will be weeding & canning like crazy.We didn't get very many pickles this year because of all the deer & coons eating the cucs at our satellite garden. Hopefully the deer will stay away from the house where we put the garden. (We have seen about 15 deer all at once about 500yds from the house)
I did meet our neighbor to the east the other day. He's the one who has the blue healer. I was taking the dog back to his house to tell the neighbor that Jack was growling at Corbin. I stood on the porch after ringing the door bell. I was angry otherwise I never would be in that confrontational position in a million years. Well after waiting a couple of minutes I turn to leave when the door opens & out pops a man wearing a towel. Well, I don't have have to tell you that I was embarrassed. I looked up & to the side cause he wanted to introduce himself & I wanted to leave but I was now in this mess. I quickly explained that Jack was growling & please keep the dog over at his house & exited quickly as Mr Ted came outside in his towel to put the dog in the garage. Now, the previous owners told us that the dog never came over to their house & the neighbors liked to keep to themselves but that dog hasn't left since we moved in & Mr Ted honks at me as he drives away & he's come over 4 times in the 4 wks we've been here...the dog was back in 4 hrs & had busted a hole in their garage door to get back to my house. Honestly!
The other exciting parts to our day have included watching the combine across the road, watching the road scraper & then the dump truck putting new dirt on the road, watching the birds & deer, listening to the pack of coyotes that live in our timber, playing in the hot tub, finding a snake, avoiding the bugs, & helping Jeremy with all his projects that he constantly has going.
We did get a dog named Buzz Lightyear. A man in our church has been training labs for hunting for 30years & we asked him if he had an adult dog that we could have. He thought for a little bit & came up with a plan. Buzz is a pheasant dog. He's one of the best but he only really gets out to hunt a couple weekends a year & the rest of the time he's bored. So, we are now co-owners of Buzz. Mr Amensen gets him to go hunting & we get him the rest of the time. Perfect for me, as we get a highly trained dog that I don't have to worry about with my kids & he stays outside all the time. The kids can't wait for Mr Amensen to have some puppies in the spring because we get to go play with them & Sage REALLY wants a puppy.
One of the best things about our acreage is the effect it has on Brody. Since we've moved here he's been calmer & better able to handle life. He can calm himself by going outside & running or walking & I don't really have to worry about him getting hurt.It's not been perfect but it is better.
I guess that's about it for now.
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Wish I Had A Camera In My Eyeballs
Have you ever been in a moment when you wished you could record every tiny thing? I don't know if it's age, the addition of more children, maturity, or finding a general appreciation of life that has lead me to this feeling more often than not.
I'll give you an example. As I type this, I am in my bed, snuggled up to my 3 1/2 month old daughter Glory. She's just finished nursing & is in her milky coma of bliss; a drop of milk teetering precariously on her rosebud lips. A blush of light touches her shoulder highlighting her peachy fuzz. The sweet creases on her wrists & the dimples in her fingers are as beautiful as her tiny eyelashes gracing her tired lids. I want to not only remember her amazing eyes but the sensation of her fingers gently touching my arms or wrapped around my neck. I want to recall at a moments notice that fabulous smell that only a baby can have. I want to pull from the recesses of my mind the beautiful sounds of her "talking" to me & her daddy as we lay in bed after the big kids are in bed for the night. I really love baby feet & tiny toes. Do I really have to mention her ears or her cute little knees that make my knees go weak?
Celeste is 2 & she steals my heart every day! She is so painfully wonderful. At least once a day, she puts her dainty hands on my cheeks, getting nose to nose with me, & tells me "You my bes fwen" (You're my best friend) & "I wuff you, Mama". It's that feeling that grabs your heart & squeezes so hard that it literally pains you. I just sit & watch her so intently while she talks to me that sometimes I forget to listen to what she's saying because I get lost in her intensity.
But it's not only that way with my babies. I know I still think of Corbin as one of my babies even though he's 4 but he is growing so fast. He is learning so fast & so many experiences he has & I stand in awe of all he communicates with me. He is GORGEOUS with his towhead, blue eyes & incredible smile. There is no stopping this boy who tries anything as long as Mama is right there. He is starting to be a brave boy; stepping further from his Mama as he learns to be more independent. I know in my heart this is how it should be but I can't help but feel a little sadness as he takes those initial steps out of my arms. I want to remember the smile that is only mine because I know sooner than later he'll give that smile to some other very lucky lady rather than his Mama.
What I want to remember about Julia is her crazy flair. I don't think I could ever forget her "interesting" outfits she picks out because I bet she never stops dressing this way. She is so gifted in ways I am not. She has a wonderful self assured presence that other girls flock to her in social situations. She can sing without hesitation (although she doesn't know that she is rarely on tune), she dances in a crowd even when no one else would dream of dancing there, & she can act on stage with no hesitation or stage fright. She has made up her mind to be a nurse & so far nothing has changed her mind. She displays so many wonderful talents, gifts, & abilities. Her eyes light up when she talks about so many things. She feels passion so deeply & yet that can backfire as her passion causes her inner tiger to leap forth when she feels wronged. She is fiercely loyal.
Brody is the toughest. If I'm really honest I know that there are so many ways Brody is like me & I wish they were the positive aspects. I try to take pictures of Brody's eyes when he understands a concept that eluded him previously. His mischievous smile can light up a room. He can give the best hugs so that you melt into those skinny little arms. He's got bony little knees & elbows like a newborn colt although he isn't as tall as he thinks he is. He has pointy ears like a little elf & white hair above the temples on both sides of his head. He wants to be hugged hard, scratched hard, squeezed hard, etc. He likes order, all things to stay the same, & has only recently found something that scared him (high ropes course). His mantra is that he is the biggest, strongest, bravest, fastest. But his eyes cloud over faster than a blink. His intensity is topped off by his frustration & anger at a world he doesn't understand & finds it hard to function in. I cry as I feel helpless to include him in all that encircles him; some he realizes & much more that he is unaware of.
I have no idea when I blinked & my Sage became a big boy. At 10, my son weighs much more that I did as a freshman in high school. He wears a size 8 men's tennis shoe & will be taller than me by 12-so he says. He's only a head away from that goal. He hates having his head touched & has since he was in utero-he'll need a wife who isn't in to rubbing her fingers through his hair! Right now his ankles are thicker than mine & today I noticed his neck is as big as his head. He is growing so fast but not only his body. His cute lips are just like his father's & they never stop talking. I'm not exaggerating, he even talks in his sleep. He's always joyfully singing or telling a story to anyone who listens & those who aren't listening. I wish I could bottle his innocence & yet he has become so mature lately. We have such great conversations. We were talking about the boys in his Sunday School class & I asked him to observe them while he was at a party with them all. He's been frustrated that they seem to pick on him a lot & I wanted him to notice the nuances of their relationships. I wanted him to fit in just like I wanted to fit in as a child. When he got home we sat & talked about how the boys acted, what they did, etc. I was impressed with his insight as sometimes I think he daydreams so much that he doesn't see things as quickly as others. His conclusion really made me think. He decided that these boys all try to act like each other, they treat each other unkindly (even when they are on the same team) & because God made us all unique he is going to be himself & not act like those boys. I am excited to see the man he will become although I can wait a little longer because that means he won't be around every day to flash his sweet smile at me while he sings a newly composed ditty about some animal/alien/or newly invented creature.
So, for today this is my snapshot... since I don't have a camera in my eyeballs.
I'll give you an example. As I type this, I am in my bed, snuggled up to my 3 1/2 month old daughter Glory. She's just finished nursing & is in her milky coma of bliss; a drop of milk teetering precariously on her rosebud lips. A blush of light touches her shoulder highlighting her peachy fuzz. The sweet creases on her wrists & the dimples in her fingers are as beautiful as her tiny eyelashes gracing her tired lids. I want to not only remember her amazing eyes but the sensation of her fingers gently touching my arms or wrapped around my neck. I want to recall at a moments notice that fabulous smell that only a baby can have. I want to pull from the recesses of my mind the beautiful sounds of her "talking" to me & her daddy as we lay in bed after the big kids are in bed for the night. I really love baby feet & tiny toes. Do I really have to mention her ears or her cute little knees that make my knees go weak?
Celeste is 2 & she steals my heart every day! She is so painfully wonderful. At least once a day, she puts her dainty hands on my cheeks, getting nose to nose with me, & tells me "You my bes fwen" (You're my best friend) & "I wuff you, Mama". It's that feeling that grabs your heart & squeezes so hard that it literally pains you. I just sit & watch her so intently while she talks to me that sometimes I forget to listen to what she's saying because I get lost in her intensity.
But it's not only that way with my babies. I know I still think of Corbin as one of my babies even though he's 4 but he is growing so fast. He is learning so fast & so many experiences he has & I stand in awe of all he communicates with me. He is GORGEOUS with his towhead, blue eyes & incredible smile. There is no stopping this boy who tries anything as long as Mama is right there. He is starting to be a brave boy; stepping further from his Mama as he learns to be more independent. I know in my heart this is how it should be but I can't help but feel a little sadness as he takes those initial steps out of my arms. I want to remember the smile that is only mine because I know sooner than later he'll give that smile to some other very lucky lady rather than his Mama.
What I want to remember about Julia is her crazy flair. I don't think I could ever forget her "interesting" outfits she picks out because I bet she never stops dressing this way. She is so gifted in ways I am not. She has a wonderful self assured presence that other girls flock to her in social situations. She can sing without hesitation (although she doesn't know that she is rarely on tune), she dances in a crowd even when no one else would dream of dancing there, & she can act on stage with no hesitation or stage fright. She has made up her mind to be a nurse & so far nothing has changed her mind. She displays so many wonderful talents, gifts, & abilities. Her eyes light up when she talks about so many things. She feels passion so deeply & yet that can backfire as her passion causes her inner tiger to leap forth when she feels wronged. She is fiercely loyal.
Brody is the toughest. If I'm really honest I know that there are so many ways Brody is like me & I wish they were the positive aspects. I try to take pictures of Brody's eyes when he understands a concept that eluded him previously. His mischievous smile can light up a room. He can give the best hugs so that you melt into those skinny little arms. He's got bony little knees & elbows like a newborn colt although he isn't as tall as he thinks he is. He has pointy ears like a little elf & white hair above the temples on both sides of his head. He wants to be hugged hard, scratched hard, squeezed hard, etc. He likes order, all things to stay the same, & has only recently found something that scared him (high ropes course). His mantra is that he is the biggest, strongest, bravest, fastest. But his eyes cloud over faster than a blink. His intensity is topped off by his frustration & anger at a world he doesn't understand & finds it hard to function in. I cry as I feel helpless to include him in all that encircles him; some he realizes & much more that he is unaware of.
I have no idea when I blinked & my Sage became a big boy. At 10, my son weighs much more that I did as a freshman in high school. He wears a size 8 men's tennis shoe & will be taller than me by 12-so he says. He's only a head away from that goal. He hates having his head touched & has since he was in utero-he'll need a wife who isn't in to rubbing her fingers through his hair! Right now his ankles are thicker than mine & today I noticed his neck is as big as his head. He is growing so fast but not only his body. His cute lips are just like his father's & they never stop talking. I'm not exaggerating, he even talks in his sleep. He's always joyfully singing or telling a story to anyone who listens & those who aren't listening. I wish I could bottle his innocence & yet he has become so mature lately. We have such great conversations. We were talking about the boys in his Sunday School class & I asked him to observe them while he was at a party with them all. He's been frustrated that they seem to pick on him a lot & I wanted him to notice the nuances of their relationships. I wanted him to fit in just like I wanted to fit in as a child. When he got home we sat & talked about how the boys acted, what they did, etc. I was impressed with his insight as sometimes I think he daydreams so much that he doesn't see things as quickly as others. His conclusion really made me think. He decided that these boys all try to act like each other, they treat each other unkindly (even when they are on the same team) & because God made us all unique he is going to be himself & not act like those boys. I am excited to see the man he will become although I can wait a little longer because that means he won't be around every day to flash his sweet smile at me while he sings a newly composed ditty about some animal/alien/or newly invented creature.
So, for today this is my snapshot... since I don't have a camera in my eyeballs.
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