Some of you are thinking, "15! What in the world! He must be one of those bad kids that the parents put in military training." Nope. Two of my sons are member of the Iowa Sea Cadets program. This fantastic program is for kids ages 10-18 & allows them opportunities to see what military life will be like while taking part in amazing experiences such as Coast Guard Training, military medical training, Blackhawks, Field Operations, scuba certification &more.
Anyway, my 15yo was signed up to attend Recruit Training this summer. He had been told by other cadets that it would be awful- he would hate it & he was a little scared. A couple of days before we left he had started bargaining with me, "If you let me stay home I will get a job & give you all my money for a whole year." Then, the day of it was, "You can't make me do this. I won't get out of the van." We pulled through the security check & I could see it on his face. He was petrified. We pulled into the designated parking lot. He couldn't move. We sat there for 10 min while the little kids asked why he wouldn't get out of the car. Finally I knew that I had to make him do this or he would regret it forever. I opened my van door, stepped out, opened his door & told him to unbuckle. It seems like it took 3 minutes. I told him to step out of the vehicle. He would not. I told him that unless he got out on his own accord, I would go get his CO & they would remove him. To say he was angry would be an understatement. I unloaded his sea bag that I'd packed for him & walked with him towards the check in table. A man in military dress stopped me at the sidewalk & let me know that parents weren't allowed past the garbage can & I'd need to say my goodbyes now. I tried to hug him & whisper words of support in his ear but he wasn't having that. He was mad & slightly embarrassed. I turned & went back to my van.
As we drove out through the security gate I was reflective. I just made my scared 15yo do something that he was either going to hate me for or he was going to love me for it. I've known his entire life that he is destined for a job full of adrenaline; fireman, policeman, race car driver, military man. I'm just hoping that his fear won't get in the way of his experience. Jeremy knew my mood. He asked me when I was going to speak again & how long I was going to feel guilty. I honestly didn't know. That night I slept for about 3 1/2 hours and not in one sitting.
The next day, the CO began posting pictures of all the recruits on Facebook. It was great to see his shaved head but I could still see the anger in his eyes. I was hoping he hadn't lain in bed all night wondering why his mama was making him do this when I was supposed to love him. The next couple of days I stalked that Facebook page 2 or 3 times a day keeping my eyes peeled for any glimpse of my son. I wonder if he's sleeping? Is he remembering to take his meds? Is he eating or is his sensory issues getting in the way? Does he hate me or is he having fun? I can't tell from the pictures because all the recruits look so serious.
Graduation day was July 4th which I think is fantastic! What better way to spend my Independence Day than with the men & women that make my freedom possible. I was awake very early. I got all my littles ready. We headed out to be there early & get a good seat. I couldn't wait to see him. My stomach was in knots while sitting in that metal chair waiting for the ceremony to begin. Alpha company comes in. Bravo company comes in, & finally Charlie company. There he is. There is my baby. My eyes well up in tears & my throat is now the size of a baseball. My heart is pumping a million miles a minute. I watch & I try to listen but all I can do is stare into the face of my son who is also staring straight ahead as he is supposed to. They announce the CO's, the cadets that volunteered to help during the week, & the awards that each company earned. Brody won the Physical Readiness Award for Charlie Company. I am so proud.
Finally the ceremony is over & we are free to go to him. I get to hug him for a couple of seconds & no one else because he is in his dress uniform. We take some pictures, we gather his stuff, & we head for the van after making a plan to head to Hickory Park Restaurant because he is starving. He glowed the whole way home. He talked non stop about all the experiences he'd had. In my head I knew that I was right. He LOVED it. It was exactly what he wanted to do.
When we finally arrive at home Jeremy asks Brody if he learned anything. His response was not what I expected. He said that Freedom of Speech is really important. I'm thinking "What? 12 days of boot camp & you're thinking about Constitutional stuff?" "When you have to be silent for 12 days, unless spoken to, you learn how wonderful it is to be able to say what you want & how important that is."
Well, that's good. But I wanted more. I was hoping for more. He then added, "I also learned that I'm a jerk. I treat our family like my DI's treated us & I don't want to be a jerk anymore." I'm quite sure that ANGELS were singing! I almost cried from that statement but I was fishing for more. I needed to know that he didn't hate me. I asked him about his first night, did he sleep, was he mad at me, etc. He said that it was easy to sleep because he was exhausted. He started out mad but he realized that he missed me. He said that he knows why military guys get a tattoo of MOM on their arm. I told him that I was OK with him getting a MOM tattoo; I'd take him right now! He was shocked for sure. That lead to a whole other discussion about getting a tattoo...
I want you to know that although I was excited to hear that Brody has decided to join the Marines after high school, the thing I loved the most was the 2 weeks after he got back. Why? Brody was happy. He was sweet to his siblings. He asked me to snuggle with him while we watched a show on the tv-EVERYDAY! This might sound like no big deal to many people but when you have a kid that has struggled his whole life with various diagnosis of Aspergers, sensory problems, ODD, ADD, & dyslexia, you don't get many good days. There is always something to send him reeling which sends the whole family into a tailspin. This experience was a win. 5 years ago we didn't have many things to cheer about with Brody. He had grown so much physically & emotionally. There were years that I worried about whether or not he would survive & thrive in life as an adult. My very real concerns have been alleviated substantially. I can't wait to see what's in store for him now.
1 comment:
Saw this happening; love them.
Post a Comment