Monday, May 24, 2010

Why did I choose this title?

Have you ever read Psalm 127, specifically verses 3-5? Many people use them as their family's verses & I was given these verses to read some years ago in an email from my pastor. He thought they fit & so do I. Here they are:

"3. Behold, children are a gift of the LORD; The fruit of the womb is a reward.
4. Like arrows in the hand of the warrior, So are the children of one's youth.
5. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them; They shall not be ashamed,  When they speak with their enemies at the gate."

We hope to fill our quiver full of arrows & aim them as straight as we can down the road leading to Life with our Heavenly Father.

These verses made me think back then & they still cause me to pause now. I wonder what the purpose of the last phrase is (about not being ashamed when they speak with their enemies at the gate). I think in the last couple of years it's changed definitions for me. It started when we were pregnant with Corbin & people believed it was their business to try to talk us out of having "so many kids" or just reply in a derogatory manner-things like "I can barely stay sane with 2, you must be crazy". I started to have hurt feelings & feel as if people believed I was irresponsible or stupid. The comments only got worse when we got pregnant with Celeste. People seemed to think it was their duty to extol upon me the many virtues of small families & the many horrible things involved with large families. To add to it, it seemed that any reply I gave them, no matter how positive, seemed to be irrelevent in their eyes & only make them more vehement. I began to just ignore people without trying to set them straight when they'd see me out with just 3 kids & they'd say something like "You've got your hands full" when they don't even know the half of it. (My kids now reply for me, "we've got a lot more at home & we're gonna have 20 more!" or something to that effect) So...I think that last verse for me now means that when I go out & I meet up with people I truly believe Satan has sent to discourage me in my daily life, I will not be ashamed to speak up. I've never been ashamed of any of my kids but just felt maybe I should be ashamed of the quantity. I can reply to them with a smile & continue on with my day knowing that God gave me each of my children for a reason & I am so glad He did. I have great joy in writing every individual name down on guest books, cards, & other forms you might fill out. I love walking around stores & seeing the many varied reactions on people's faces when they see my kids "helping" me shop. I know there are days when I would love a break & then my wonderful husband will send me out by myself or my thoughtful in-laws will give me yet another opportunity to get away but for the most part, even amidst the many challenges I love to be with my kids all the time. I feel disjointed or disoriented without them & the funny thing is is that even when I do get out it's hard to know what to do without them.

Wow, I really got off track. All this to say that I chose this title as a kind of the purpose statement of my life right now. Raising Godly Arrows...only slightly Bent(s) because they won't be perfect because Jeremy & I aren't even close to perfect. Someday I'll have to pick a new one but I hope to be here for awhile.


Mari Bryant- Marks said...

I love this. All of it. Very nice Kate. When people in stores make comments to me about having my hands full, I simply smile and say, "aren't they fantastic?!"

Anonymous said...

WOW, I could just fill in our name when you talked about that. It is so sad how society has found children to be such a burden and that it is "their" job or business to set us all straight. When 4 or even 5 kids really aren't that many! Thank you so much for sharing with us about this verse's meaning. I had never taken the time to really think on it, but it is so true and fitting!!! Hope you enjoy those little "arrow blessings" today!

Debby said...

The number of children you have is a decision between your husband and yourself and certainly w/prayer. But I would just ask you to see it from others eyes that both parents work hard, can't afford life or to provide for their children as they'd like and they see the lines at the welfare office, or using food stamps, or free health care, and parents w/many children using those government programs and they are paying for them and not using them because they are both working. I don't think society is against large families as much as they are against large families that aren't responsibly caring for their own families and relying on the government programs to do it. In this area we see it alot so while I think you have a wonderful family Katie, I sort of see why they react as they do.

Debby said...

I'd like to add one more thing, perhaps you make them feel inadequate w/your large family and they ARE going crazy w/their small one? Or they have plans of things they'd like to do w/their children and having more means they can't accomplish what they want, either emotionally, spiritually, or financially? And you make them feel guilty for that? That was part of the reason we stopped at 3 when we wanted 5. And then God surprised us with number 4.
And forgive the run on sentence in the first comment.